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Weโ€™ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

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by Neurotics

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1.
Bye 03:01
lyrics
i must get out of bed or i will starve to death i must get out of bed or i wil cease to exist but is that a bad thing? i'm done with life it was nice to know you how dare i breathe the same air that you do? i will die in your arms again but only in my dreams will you be happy to see me and my hands will suddenly bleed how did that glass get in there? i will pick at my scars until they sprout sunflowers yr favorite it's the least i can do after burdening you for so long a gift from yr biggest disappointment
2.
The Daydream Must End 02:10
lyrics
goodnight, goodbye i'll see you inbetween the waves of the tears of joy that will be running down your face when you realize that I'm gone now you won't even question how you'll just call our friends and tell them to celebrate along with you i tried my hardest to stick around for you i tried to make you happy there is only my blood now pooling by the entrance of my doorway
3.
(i didn't know what to call it,) so i let it remain unnamed, (but the only problem is that it's going to be a massive eyesore) 02:00
lyrics
i will not go to bed sober i won't go to bed at all i'll just be a shittier jackson pollock and add more blood to the wall we were hanging out in the high school music room you were beautiful and your holy ghost was shining with you in the fluorescent lights in the classroom i can hear your heartbeat and every time it beats i feel like maybe things won't be so bad in the end and maybe aubree will be okay in the end and maybe wyatt will be okay in the end and maybe aj will be okay in the end and maybe i can get out my own goddamn way
4.
Yr Brain On Hugs 02:46
lyrics
kiss me like the world is ending but it isn't well, at least not for you, but for me come over, we can watch "reefer madness" and listen to our band demos and wonder why things never panned out as well as they could've was it bad timing or were you too busy to answer your phone? i'm sounding like a petty fuck and i don't want a pity fuck to get my mind off things less talking, more drowning and the big doors to your heart were broken down and raided by another and you found out that you received more than you lost i'm less talking, more drowning i'm less talking, more rambling on
5.
Social Events (She's Shadows Now) 02:36
lyrics
these social events are running thin and i know that sooner or later you'll see me across the gymnasium floor guns pointed at everybody there it's a sign of the times it's a rite of passage these dreams where you die are becoming more frequent these dreams where you hate me are real bleeding's only fun when it's happening to me if it makes you feel better, i won't tell you even if you stay, i know you'll just want to leave if it makes you feel better, i won't tell you when i do
6.
Now It's "They Killed Me!" 02:01
lyrics
i saw you today in the halls of my dreams you turned and you gave to me a note in a language i couldn't read so you held on to my body so i could understand give me a day and you will see i am nothing but beachside property and the days are getting away from me so let's just lay here you showed me the pictures they used yr body like a furniture piece and you've been waiting for the right person
7.
Dream's Deep (Cassadaga Marissa Death) 01:43
lyrics
i'm going to let my problems fester
8.
everyone i love 03:38
9.
suicide by cop 02:30
lyrics
you were drinking and driving one night you still remember the last hit you took before they pulled you over and you wanted to die so you reached for the gun they had on their side ankle bracelet impatient outpatient fuck meds can you please take me far away from here?
10.
tiny problem 00:41
lyrics
i'm just a tiny problem in your wheel i'm just a tiny problem in the machine that is yr life i'm just a tiny problem
11.
the last song on the album (so, so underwhelming) 03:27
lyrics
i have no illusions about my worthlessness i'll be dead before this song is through even in death i'm still yr biggest disappointment the shittiest note that i could ever leave you as you lie and tell me that you'll be alone and i'll feel better i'm already bleeding and fading and gone go to sleep please just get some sleep i don't want you to be awake and have to see me leave goodnight and goodbye :)

about

this used to be an album called "friendship suicide." it was going to serve as a journal and final goodbye to everybody i held dear by putting it in a way where i could say anything i wanted, seeing as i've never been good with my words and there was a lot i wanted to get off of my chest. but, after months of losing hope, friends, patience, and motivation to ever finish this album, i have decided that there's no point anymore. the initial 20 songs that were going to be here are now taken to just 11. although those songs are not here, they're still written and may show up somewhere else in the future (all 1 more month of the future).

friendship suicide is dead.

these are the skeletal remains of it.

credits

released November 23, 2021

written/recorded january 2021 - september 2021.

everything written/recorded by sarah.

thanks to char, wyatt, aubree, our families, lina, ashley, aj, lacerda, ben, yara, aurora santa rosa hospital unit 500, and you.

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all rights reserved

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